Once Gretchen and I were discharged from the hospital, we had quite an adjustment period. In fact, we're still going through the adjustment period. We probably always will be. Gretchen came home with slight jaundice, but fortunately that went away on its own. A visiting home nurse collected a blood sample and other vitals and Gretchen checked out just fine.
She had four pediatric appointments throughout the first month of her life, mainly because her mother is neurotic and paranoid. I can't help it! Two of the appointments were scheduled and standard practice. She is thriving in weight gain, which makes me feel good, seeing as I'm breastfeeding her. The other two appointments were regarding acid reflux. She has a slight case of it, and honestly it makes me uneasy. However, babies often have immature digestive systems and as they mature, so do their digestive systems. I'm hoping Gretchen's will sort itself out, but unfortunately my side of the family has terrible history with this and it's likely that she could have mild reflux her entire life. We've all survived life with it, but I feel bad for her, because it's something she's inherited. No medicine was prescribed to Gretchen, but we start giving her Gripe Water in hopes that it would help soothe her little belly.
Throughout the month, probably starting in week 2, Gretchen developed colic. Some nights are okay, others are a bust. Her "witching hour," as they call it, typically starts around 6:00 PM and lasts for an hour or so. We shush her to sleep with a variety of different techniques, such as white noise, rocking, checking her diaper, swaddling her, singing, comfort sucking (pacifier or our pinky finger), or simply nursing. At first it was really hard for me to hear her cry. I found myself at a loss, not knowing how to "fix" the situation. I'm slowly learning that it's not something I can fix. I try my best and need to remind myself each night that I am a good mother and that I am doing everything I can to give Gretchen a happy and fulfilling life.
Although Gretchen has a slight case of colic, she has a structured sleep schedule that she developed on her own. Her schedule looks something like this (+/- an hour here or there):
- First Morning Nap - 7:00 AM
- Second Morning Nap - 10:00 AM
- Third Afternoon Nap - 4:00 PM
- Bed Time - 8:00 PM
She'll typically have a midnight feeding and then wake up around 4:00 AM for another feeding. She usually will fall back asleep after her feedings at night, but sometimes we have trouble and she co-sleeps with me on my chest in order for both of us to get a little bit of rest. Each day gets easier and we're able to handle the obstacles better as time goes on.
We had many visitors throughout the first month. People were eager to see Gretchen and we were happy to find that so many people love her. We were given homemade meals to eat then and to freeze, which was a huge help. People are so generous, especially our family and friends. My mother has visited nearly once a week at my request. It's so helpful to have her there for moral support and to help with Gretchen. Nate's mother has also visited, and it's nice to feel that sense of unconditional support. Gretchen has met Uncle Mike, Uncle Jason, Uncle Kenny, Aunt Shannon and Cousin Lucas. She has also met our Aunt Glenda, our dear friends Andrea, Charlie and their two children Will and Henry, as well as our other friends Shannon (from work), Jenn (a childhood best friend) and her son, Grayson, Tia and her boyfriend, Kevin, and a bunch of our co-workers. Everyone seems to love her, and that is a great feeling.
Speaking of work, I ended up giving my notice. I had worked there for what would have been five years in November, so it was a bold move on my part. Nate didn't have a second job or more hours lined up, so we were literally sacrificing one pay check. We couldn't justify paying $200+ a week for childcare, especially with a baby struggling with colic and reflux. They would have asked for more in weekly tuition for those two circumstances. Instead, we take care of her here at home. We nurture her day in and day out and we know what's going on in her life, which is very comforting. Nate grew up with a stay at home mother and my parents always wished to have that opportunity for me, so it's great to know that we're making it work. We may not have all of the money in the world or the comfortable lifestyle we once had, but we have more than anyone could ever ask for. We are rich in so many ways other than money -- we have a beautiful daughter and she's healthy. A parent could not ask for anything more!
Being a parent is challenging. I am the type of person that likes a structured plan set in stone. I'm not good at being spontaneous, and if you asked me to be spontaneous, I would plan out what I was going to do that was SO spontaneous. It doesn't really work that way, does it? My husband is the type of person that can go with the flow, roll with the punches, etc. It drives me nuts, because I desperately wish I could be just like that. We balance one another out, though, and that works for us and our family. The reason I started talking about structure is because since we've become parents, there has been very little of it! What is someone like me to do in this situation? Go crazy, basically.
It started with my birth plan: Natural. Yeah, that didn't happen. It ended up working out for the best that I did request the medication to help ease the pain, but I was dead set on a different plan. Then, I went into breastfeeding thinking that it was going to be a walk in the park. Okay, not so much. It's challenging and the first two weeks were terrible (emotionally). Each week brings its own challenges, but I'm overcoming them each day and working hard to make the best of it. The most recent thing that we are doing that I never imagined we would is: cloth diapering. Who knew? Being a stay at home mother gives me the opportunity to do things that I might not have the chance to do as a working mother (I will be both throughout Gretchen's lifetime).
We ordered Fuzzibunz diapers that are "all in one," which means they will grow with her throughout her entire time in diapers. This is a tremendous savings for us despite having to wash the diapers. We will still save money, because we go through disposables like water. I think that the cloth diapers will also be really good for Gretchen's skin. She has very sensitive skin (like her mom), so these will provide that extra comfort. We were able to purchase 20 of them and receive 4 for free (with a rebate). The color choices are fun, too! You can learn more about Fuzzibunz diapers at www.fuzzibunz.com. They have other products, too, for those of you that might be interested. Always search for the best price. We were able to find promotional codes to cut the costs, which was helpful, as well as free shipping. Also, we like these diapers because they do not depreciate in value, as long as they are well kept. We can sell them once Gretchen is out of them, if we wanted to.
Throughout Gretchen's first month, she had many milestones (in fact far too many to list, but I'll try my best). She is very alert, although her eyes remained close a majority of the time throughout the first few weeks of her life. She has gorgeous blue eyes, and we think they will remain blue (I have blue eyes). She can lift her head and turn it from side to side. We were able to figure out that Gretchen enjoys sleeping on her belly and even on her side more than her back. She switches it up and lets us know what position she'd like to sleep in. She started taking a pacifier. She showed her first smile, which absolutely melted our hearts. She started thriving at tummy time on her tummy time mat. She started playing in her swing (not liking it so much), as well as her bouncer. She hated the bouncer at first, but now takes a liking to it over the swing. She has started reaching and grabbing for things, especially her rattle toys that hang above her head on her entertainers (swing, bouncer, mat, and car seat). There are many other milestones that we have captured in photographs. I'll be sure to post those later.
Gretchen is struggling with her car seat. We are hoping to figure out the issue, but at this time have not. So, it makes venturing out a difficult task, especially when I'm by myself. It might be that she can't see anyone from her seat, so she starts to panic and cry. OR it could be because it's uncomfortable (maybe her stomach is sensitive due to the reflux and the positioning of the seat adds to that). We are trying many different things and will conquer this challenge some day. For now we are taking baby steps and slowly getting her acclimated to her seat by sitting her in it (unstrapped) and taking her for a quiet stroller ride a couple of roads over (a private road). She has also let me drive with her in the car a few times, but starts to hysterically cry after a little bit. We are always open to new suggestions, but I think it'll just take practice.
I'll end this post with Gretchen's growth development stats:
Birth Weight: 9 lbs, 4 oz
Discharge Weight: 8 lbs, 8 oz
Weigh In with Home Nurse: 8 lbs, 10 oz
First Week Appointment: 9 lbs, 2 oz
Second Week Appointment: 9 lbs, 14 oz
Third Week Appointment: 10 lbs, 11 oz
Despite Gretchen's colic and reflux issues, we are enjoying every minute with our daughter. Hearing all of the bad news around the world makes you realize how fortunate you truly are, even if you do feel like you have issues, they are never as bad or as big as what other people are experiencing. In fact, it's silly to complain at all about these "issues." We have a healthy baby girl and we love her unconditionally. What more could we ask for?
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